Have you ever pondered what would your ideal life look like? How your life would be different? Whenever you're at crossroads, you have the opportunity to re-create the next chapter of your life. By choosing one option, you're also un-choosing several others. Making conscious and intentional choices means that you're taking responsibility for what you choose and what you decide not to include in your life.
Pace yourself and gain momentum by making smaller decisions
Being stuck with indecisiveness takes up an enormous amount of energy. Taking your time to come to a decision that you feel good about can be a process and can be a result of multiple smaller decisions you take along the way. These little momentums give you the sense of progress and taking responsibility for your own life. It also takes the pressure off from making the one right decision. If you can't make the big decisions yet, whether you don't feel ready or want some more information before committing yourself, set milestones and create a roadmap to see what's coming. In this way you won't end up postponing it forever and can give yourself the experience of success by reaching the smaller goals along the way. You might end up realizing that by making the decisions that are right ahead of you, you invisibly bring yourself closer to get clarity about the greater topics in your life.
“Never underestimate the big importance of small things - Matt Haig
One of these greater topics can be how you want to live your life. What does your ideal life look like? What would make you happy, satisfied and leaving your with a feeling that you've lived a life you loved?
Whenever you're at crossroads in your life, you want to make a significant decision about your life, or need help with choosing a path forward, the following two exercises can help you with finding your answers - or getting closer to them:
Imagine your own Midnight Library
In Matt Haig's book, The Midnight Library, Nora finds herself faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, and realizing her dreams that she's left behind. She must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.
“We only need to be one person. We only need to feel one existence. We don't have to do everything in order to be everything, because we are already infinite. While we are alive we always contain a future of multifarious possibility.” - Matt Haig
There is a visualization practice you can do inspired by this book. Imagine yourself being in your own Midnight Library, having the chance to make different choices. See what books are open around you and what stories are written in them? Stay curious and visit as many lives as you want. Dwell yourself into feelings, situations and lives that you never dared to visit before. After taking these trips, return to the Library and look around. Start closing the books that you do not choose. Graciously say bye to them, and put them back to the shelf. After a while, you'll find yourself with only a few books open. It might feel sad to place them back to where they belong - take your time. Take a deep breathe and exhale with a sigh. Close the remaining ones too - yes, all of them! - and return to a room that represent your own life now. Imagine, that you've the chance to write a book that consist all what you've loved in those scenarios in the Library. Where would you go next? What would be the next small action you take? Who would be the person you want to connect with?
Create your five imaginery lives
Another practice I bring you here is the five lives exercise.
Imagine that you can create five different life scenarios for yourself. Each life is different, but you are honoring all your core values and living according to your life vision in each of them. You are feeling fulfilled, happy, and absolutely satisfied with how you live your life.
Nothing is impassible here, go crazy, and don’t think about obstacles; for now, go for even something that sounds completely unrealistic. Unlock your imagination!
Think about where and how you would live, what you would be doing for work in your free time, what kind of people you would be meeting (if any?), what your impact would be, etc., and write some notes about whatever comes to your mind. The more details you can come up with, the better.
Develop 5 life scenarios in which:
Everything changes
Nothing is changes
Money is not an issue
“Create your own scenario”
Your truly ideal life
Have fun!